


The Lobby's Shipping Oneshots

by TheBizarreHairTrio



Series: The Lobby's Collection of Oneshots [1]
Category: The Lobby
Genre: "idk maybe they got beat up do NOT judge", "please stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen" CLASSIC, "sorry this is apple juice not whiskey i lied", "yo WHY DOES THIS GUY'S CLOTHES HAVE BLOOD ALL OVER THEM", ABSOLUTE MADWOMAN, Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - Demons, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, BREAKDOWN IN THE KITCHENWARE SECTION, COURTING SOMEONE BY LEAVING DEAD BODIES IN THEIR KITCHEN, Chance Meetings, Demons, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, It's shipping time motherfuckers, Lots and lots of AUs, M/M, Most of the time, Multi, Nine Has Game, Other, PLATONIC SHIPS ARE VALID, Poly Relationships Are A Go, SANDWICH TIME, SAY IT ISN'T SO, THE MOST ROMANTIC AND SUCCESSFUL COURTSHIP PROCESS 10/10, Y'ALL GONNA GET COLDS SMH, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, also unfortunately break up a canon ship to satisfy your desires...., and have it not turn into a full blown romantic one bitch, cries, dave and pam are platonic as fuck don't you dare say otherwise, don't know if he succeeded lol, even though the entire thing is so fucking functional and beautiful as it is, gonna add relationship tags as i post new, hell yeah, i think one of the mayors tried to get it repealed, it's everyone with everyone, jeez just some gay boys keep scrolling, lmao serial killers, or at least that was the case in 2005 or so??, so canonically there's very little wiggle room but i say FUCK CANON, sobs, sometimes you need to fuck shit up, what the fuck me???? writing something wholesome??????, yes you can get arrested in kansas for throwing snowballs, you can have a fake relationship for like four hours
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-04 00:22:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 7,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21188450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBizarreHairTrio/pseuds/TheBizarreHairTrio
Summary: Just some oneshot pairings, some AU, some probably canon. Y'know how it is!





	1. let me hold both your hands (in the holes of my sweater)

** _1\. Nine/Noah - Sweater Weather by the Neighborhood - Established Relationship AU_ **

"Babe, can we check out the next store?" Nine asked, looking back at Noah with a mildly hopeful look.

Noah shrugged. "Yeah, it's okay with me. The candles here not working for you?"

He shook his head. "Nah, they don't seem like they'd work for me. And we still need to find a round table..."

"Have you asked Kitkat if she could get the table?"

"She said she couldn't; all the supplies are up to us." The older male hummed thoughtfully, coming to a stop before another store, grabbing Noah by the hand and leading him inside. The blue haired man smiled indulgently as he was pulled into yet another shop.

* * *

"So, where are we doing this séance, again? Our apartment, or Kitkat's?"

Nine flipped through a book, back against Noah's chest, making a non-committal noise in his mouth.

Noah rolled his eyes fondly, before pressing his still cold cheek against the back of Nine's neck. The poor victim yelped softly, shoving Noah's laughing face away with one hand as the other clapped against the back of his neck protectively.

"What was that for?" he hissed indignantly.

"You were completely in your head," informed Noah dryly. "I was asking where we were gonna do the séance."

Nine gained a thoughtful look, turning back to his book. "Ah... I was thinking we could do it in the graveyard a couple streets over."

Noah's eyebrow twitched, and he took a deep breath. "Have you not seen any horror movies, or something? We're going to commune with the dead, in a graveyard, on Halloween. This is a recipe for a B-rated horror movie."

Snorting a laugh, Nine turned around to give Noah a quick kiss on the lips, smirking smugly. "Oh, so you're too scared, then? And even Kitkat didn't even think twice when I told her where we were performing the séance..."

Cheeks reddening slightly, the younger coughed, turning his face away from his boyfriend's stare. "I mean... It's a classic plotline, and I know you want to do this, we don't have to cancel, we could maybe just do it... Somewhere other than the graveyard...?"

Nine kept an eyebrow arched, before he dissolved into laughter, while Noah's face steadily grew redder and redder. He sputtered. "It's not _that _funny!"

Finishing off with one last cackle, Nine pressed his lips to Noah's forehead, looking exasperated and triumphant all at once. "I was just fucking with you, dear. I predicted you were going to react like this, so I engineered the situation. We're doing the séance here, there's no way we'll be moving that table out the door without the struggle we went through getting it inside."

Noah groaned, letting his head fall forward and dropping his forehead on Nine's shoulder. "Goddammit, you evil genius."

"Why, thank you!"


	2. take your whole life (then you put a line through it)

** _2\. Runo/Noah - eastside by benny blanco, Halsey & Khalid - Opposite Flats AU_ **

** **

The first time it ended up happening, they both finished making their coffee before turning around at the same instance, meeting gazes and giving a nod of solidarity. It was three in the morning, and they both needed their cup of liquid motivation.

The second time was at 2:52 am on the dot. Runo had just finished her cup of pure caffeine when she spotted Noah entering the kitchen and plugging in the machine. As they met eyes, she raised her mug as a toast of support, and Noah gave her a thumbs up and a wink before moving out of sight. 

The third, fourth, and fifth times, they enjoyed their cups of coffee in separate flats, sitting in direct view of the window and sending each other amused looks, before disappearing out of view.

The sixth time, Noah took out a marker and wrote his number on the window at night, deciding to turn in and sleep for half the day. He woke up at two in the afternoon, with a text an unknown number, simply consisting of: _hey i know a place with even better coffee than anything u can make at home. u in?_

The seventh time, Runo had slipped out and rang Noah's doorbell, with another invitation on her lips and a 24-hour drive thru, if Noah would just drive.

The eighth, ninth, and tenth times are spent in a diner, talking over cups of coffee growing cold, a smile on both their faces as Noah watched how the lights overhead reflected off Runo's eyes and as Runo observed Noah's admittedly very nice smile up close under better lighting.

The eleventh and twelfth times left Runo at her kitchen counter staring at the steam wafting from her mug, glancing over at the adjacent kitchen window and fruitlessly wishing for the lights to turn back on.

The thirteenth time, and most times after that, found Noah in the kitchen with two mugs of coffee, Runo sleepily clinging to his shoulder and greeting him with a kiss soft with sleep pressed to his cheek.


	3. love it when you come back (and can't take it when you leave)

_ **3\. Quin/Kitkat - 365 by Zedd & Katy Perry - The Only Sober Ones At The Party AU** _

"Hey."

Quin turned her head towards the speaker, smiling slightly awkwardly, hoping that this person wasn't flat out drunk like the rest of the party was. "Hi...?"

The speaker seemed female, and had short, light hair from what she could observe in the dim lighting, half pulled up into a bun. She sat down beside her on the swing, holding a plastic cup, and seemed to smile at her. "Sorry, I just noticed you were sitting alone, and figured I, as another person who was standing alone, could come over and make conversation...? Sorry, I'm Kitkat, I'm one of Pam's friends."

"I'm Quin," replied Quin a tad unsurely. "Judas invited me."

"Oh, you know Judas, too? Where are they..." Kitkat scanned the room, before pointing into the cluster of people. "There they are!" The two watched in silence as their mutual friend apparently got completely dipped and kissed in front of the whole party by someone with dark hair.

"Good for them," said Quin softly, smiling lightly. Kitkat echoed her congrats, and half turned to face her.

"Wanna see something cool?" Quin nodded hesitantly, and Kitkat seemed to grin a touch nervously.

"Okay, see this cup? It's full of whiskey, and I'm gonna down it as fast as I can."

Before Quin could say anything—like maybe, _please don't do that—_Kitkat had already started chugging, and she watched the other girl drink down eight ounces of whiskey in morbid fascination.

Kitkat tipped the cup even further, before she finished, coughing a couple times and placing the cup on the ground, looking expectantly at Quin, expression falling a bit at what must've been a rather strange look on her face.

"Err..." Quin groped for words, but came up blank. "That was... interesting...?" _Please don't be drunk now, please don't be drunk_—

Kitkat sighed, crumpling the cup slightly, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. "Okay, I lied—that was just apple juice, not whiskey. I was trying to impress you? Basically."

"Oh..." Quin fell silent, before she snorted slightly. "You, uh..." She floundered for the right thing to say. "You didn't have to do that! I'm more impressed you managed to stay sober during the party...?"

"Really?" Kitkat's face seemed to light up, and she grinned at her. "So I really didn't have to go through all that trouble then!"

Staring into Kitkat's beaming face, Quin's brain short-circuited, and she wheezed, face growing hot. _Oh, fuck,_ she thought. _She's really, really pretty._


	4. i want that can't sleep love (give me that can't sleep)

** _4\. Runo/Quin - Can't Sleep Love by Pentatonix - Shopping Center Customers AU_ **

Runo guessed it had been coming for a while, but she didn't think the tiny melon ball scooper things would end up being the thing that broke the camel's back. The camel which ended up representing her usually unshakable visage. She sobbed loudly, wailing a little and letting it echo off the high ceilings of Bed, Bath & Beyond. People peeked into the aisle and quickly fast walked away, and she wiped her runny nose on her sleeve. Unfortunately, she made eye contact with the set of melon ballers, prompting another round of waterworks.

Footsteps approached, but unlike the others, it paused for a second, and seemed to come closer, instead of quickly walking away. Runo blinked up at the woman with short dark hair, who stared down at her with an expression that was both very concerned and horribly awkward. 

"Are you... okay?" The bewildered woman asked, making an aborted motion towards Runo's shoulder, like she wanted to pat it. Or maybe shake it a little, ask what the fuck was wrong with her. She looked nice, though. Didn't seem like the type to start screaming about how disgusting this was.

Runo sniffled a little, shifting into a more comfortable sitting position, and fidgeted a little with her sleeves, suddenly wishing this person had just walked past instead of instigating such an awkward conversation. "Um... Just had a breakdown over the tiny scoopers, you know how it... is..." She shut her mouth, smacking her face into her palm, muttering nonsense under her breath. 

The other scratched the side of her head, looking somehow even more awkward. "Well, maybe not? I just wanted to, uh. See if you were okay... You were, um. Wailing a little there..." She dithered for a couple moments, and stiffly waved slightly, seeming to cringe at her own actions. "Sorry, I'm Quin! Forgot to... introduce myself, ha ha..."

Runo robotically waved back, mimicking her slight cringe and wiping her face a little. "Ah, I'm Runo..." She tilted her head at a better angle to see Quin, and had a miniature heart attack in turn. _Fuck, she's pretty? Pretty girl? I've done fucked up._

Clearing her throat, ignoring her now warm face and racing, increasingly gay thoughts, Runo shifted position again, twisting so she could look at Quin without craning her neck. "Uh... You know, you could've just, I don't know... Turned around and ignored me, people usually do that, and you didn't need to ask me if I was okay..."

Waving her hands in front of her while simultaneously shaking her head, Quin adopted a look that was a touch indignant. "I couldn't just walk away from someone crying in public, even if it was a bit embarrassing for both parties..." She trailed off, before her expression turned slightly sheepish. "Besides... I needed to buy some plates, and they're in this aisle..."

Snorting softly, Runo dissolved into laughter that had a hint of hysteria, as Quin looked on both concerned and also bemused. Her laughing fit died down into soft snickers, and she opened her mouth to say: "I'm glad a pretty girl ended up helping me out." Clamping her mouth shut, realizing exactly what she just said, Runo slapped her hands over her face as Quin let out a single surprised laugh.

"I'm glad you think I'm cute...?" she replied haltingly, cheeks slightly pink. "I think you're cute, too!" She looked mortified just as the words left her mouth, blush darkening, but kept Runo's gaze with her own, refusing to take it back.

There was silence for several moments, until Runo broke it with a soft question. "Do you... want to get coffee after this?" she asked, fidgeting with her hands and pulling on her fingers in her lap. She laughed to herself, looking up to grin at Quin. "I promise there's only a 45% chance that it'd end up with me crying in my coffee?"

Quin smiled softly, looking delighted. "Yeah," she agreed. "I'd like that."


	5. gave you all of me (and now honestly i got nothing left)

_ **5\. Quin/Judas - Dangerously by Charlie Puth - Serial Killer AU** _

Sighing as she picked up the last sock and tossed it in, Quin shut the washing machine door and started it up, settling down on the bench in a tightly pulled together bathrobe. She always ended up like this every month, continuously procrastinating doing her laundry until she found that she had no clean clothes left, and had to trudge over to the laundromat with her entire closet. It was also awkward to be around during the busier moments, as people who put off doing their laundry like her gathered, stripped down to their undergarments with absolutely no shame. She heaved another sigh, punctuated by the sound of a heavy hamper being dropped on the bench besides her.

She turned her head, meeting her own reflection in mirrored orange aviators, and quickly averted her gaze, see as their outfit, or lack thereof, consisted of boxers and an open short kimono robe. She coughed, turning her head to the side, but couldn't resist a quick glance—at the clothes they were putting in the washer, not the person themselves!—and swallowed heavily as she witnessed the last bundle of clothes getting placed in before the other slammed the door closed.

She licked her lips, mouth dry, recalling the dark red of what was unmistakably blood coating the majority of the clothes. "What the fuck," she whispered under her breath, trying to reassure herself it wasn't anything bad, and turned to her bench neighbor with what was probably a nervous, awkward smile.

"Hello... there...?"

They slowly lifted their head from their phone and turned towards her, head tilted in such a way that the lights caught on the lenses and temporarily blinded her. She blinked away the sting, and waved stiffly. "I'm Quin, nice to meet you...?" She belatedly stretched out a hand.

Staring at her hand for a couple seconds, they took it and shook it once, but didn't bother to let go. Instead, they smirked at her, twisting their grip on her hand to grasp her fingertips, and raised it to their lips, kissing her knuckles before releasing her hand. She blinked in confusion for half a moment, then felt her cheeks warm up. 

They laughed at her, arms crossed behind their head. "I'm Judas, sorry! I can never resist the knuckle kiss when any sort of pretty girl introduces herself to me." They gave her a grin, sunglasses glinting in the overhead lights.

She waved her hands in front of her chest, laughing with them despite herself. "Ah, it's okay, I was just, um! Surprised, I guess..." She chose to ignore the 'pretty' observation, even as she felt her entire face warm up. 

Judas hummed thoughtfully, glancing over at her with an arched eyebrow. "Although, what do you want? People don't normally introduce themselves to strangers unless they want something."

"That's a pretty disheartening observation," she remarked, before she smiled a tad guiltily. "But, yeah, I wanted to ask you something about your clothes...?"

They shrugged in response. "Go ahead."

She took a breath to steel herself, and felt herself cringe slightly as she spoke. "Um... I was wondering... I saw your clothes before you put them in the machine, and... Was that blood?" 

Their face went blank, only broken by a slight smile a few moments later. "Ah, you guessed correctly! That is, indeed, actual human blood."

"Is it yours?" she asked, her previous fear mysteriously gone. Perhaps it was Judas' strangely lax and careless demeanor, but the terror she initially felt when she had first seen the bloodied clothes had dissipated.

Judas gave her a considering look, head tilted to the side as they leaned in close, bare inches away from her face. "What would you do," they whispered, "if I told you it wasn't?"

She inhaled sharply, meeting their gaze with her own defiant one. "I wouldn't run away," she declared, just as quietly.

They held their position, still so close she could smell the sharp iron scent unique to blood on them. Their lips curled into a smirk. 

"Good answer."


	6. so kiss me on the mouth and set me free (but please don't bite)

_ **6\. Nine/Gerard - BITE by Troye Sivan - Gods & Goddesses AU** _

"I heard there was a fire."

Gerard whirled around, heavy sleeves of his robe dragging along the ground with the motion. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw who had spoken.

"Nine," he greeted, "welcome."

The god of shadows surveyed the area with a critical eye, returning his gaze back to the forest deity, narrowing his eyes at the heavy robes the other wore.

"Where have your light fabrics gone, Gerard?" he asked. "Those clothes aren't like you."

The forest god winced, looking down in shame. "I... The fire damaged parts of my domain. And unlike most of you, whose domains lie far beyond any sort of harm, mine does not. The ravaged forests that were consumed by the blaze... It shows on my body."

Concern flickered through Nine's eyes, and he approached the other god, catching ahold of one of his sleeves. "Show me," he murmured, half demanding.

Gerard turned his face away, face burning with humiliation as he shifted his robes off his shoulders, revealing the stretch of burned skin across the expanse of his back. Nine inhaled sharply, hand hovering over the damaged skin, lowering his head.

"Aren't I weak?" laughed Gerard bitterly. "How can I be a god if a simple fire could injure me so? I am barely a god, if this is any evidence."

"Don't say that," chastised Nine, holding his shoulders and leaning forward to whisper in his fellow deity's ear. "You are strong. I do not have to worry about someone killing my shadows. Runo does not have to worry about someone destroying her sun. But you, Gerard, you face threat and danger, and you come out stronger for it. Your scar will heal, my dear. You are no less of a god than me."

Gerard shivered, eyes closed, and he turned his head to smile at Nine gratefully. "Thank you, Nine. But even so, I can't wear my light cloths without showing my wound. It's a mark of shame for a deity to be seen with something as mortal as an injury."

"Let me help you with that," offered Nine, letting shadows bloom against Gerard's skin, shifting and curling as they stretched over the burn and formed into flowers. 

Intaking sharply at the feeling, the forest god slumped into the other's arms, grabbing at his wrist, before it phased through, reverting into shadows. He turned, Nine smiling gently at him.

"Heliotropes," he said. "A gift, from me, to you." He dissolved into darkness and disappeared.

Gerard pressed a hand to his shoulder, feeling the comforting coolness of Nine's shadows rather than the throbbing ache of his burns, before the shadow god's statement fully processed and he promptly turned red.

"H-Heliotropes..." He pressed a hand over half his face, smiling a tad besottedly at the ground. "There's no way he could actually know what those mean... Right?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW PEOPLE THE LOBBY ALREADY HAS THEIR DETERMINED GODLY PANTHEON SHIT BUT IMAGINE


	7. you're the one i have decided (who's one of my kind)

_ **7\. Dave & Pam (Platonic) - Hey, Soul Sister by Train - Fake Engagement AU** _

"We should pretend to be engaged," announced Pam at the kitchen table, as Dave stared at his half-filled cereal bowl, wondering why he grabbed the root beer instead of the milk.

"Nnngh?" he uttered, squinting up at Pam through purple bangs.

"We're completely broke right now," she explained. "And I'm really in the mood for cake, but like. The expensive, good kind. You in?"

He blinked rapidly, rubbing at the bags under his eyes, grimacing at the bottle of root beer. "What does this have to do with engagement?"

Placing her hands on her hips, she gained a smug, triumphant look. "Engaged couples are allowed to have free wedding cake taste testing at that really popular bakery in the city!"

"Really?!" His face broke out into a grin. "What do we have to do, just pretend to be engaged? So freaking worth it!"

She laughed victoriously, rushing upstairs. "Hurry up and get changed, I'm gonna grab that old ring Nine gave me! I'll give you a rundown on our 'engagement' in the car!"

"Got it!" he called back, going up after her.

* * *

"So, when are you thinking of having your wedding?" the baker asked as she led the two of them into the back.

Dave and Pam exchanged glances, looking minutes away from bursting into laughter. Suppressing his laughter with sheer force of will, Dave cleared his throat and replied.

"Well, we're not really sure yet, but Pam prefers a spring wedding."

"Though the rain might be a problem," added Pam.

The baker hummed in affirmation. "Ah, that's true! So, something spring-themed?"

Pretending to think for a moment, the 'couple' fired off a quick series of responses.

"I think something space-y would be nice—"

"—cat themed would be great—"

"—ooooh, something to do with nature—"

"—but pastels are very pretty—"

"—turquoise is a good color, isn't it—"

"—plants should be a given—"

"—wouldn't a musically themed cake be original, though?"

The two of them glanced over at the baker, who looked as if she were trying to process everything that had just been said. They high fived behind their backs.

"Uh... Why don't I show you how our cakes look, and then you can taste whichever ones you believe will fit your theme?"

Matching grins appeared on both of their faces, causing the baker to feel a shiver run up her spine.

"That would be lovely!" exclaimed Pam, a scheming gleam in her eyes.

"Please do," purred Dave, looking just as satisfied.


	8. i'm sending a message to you (and i'm hoping that it will get through)

_ **8\. Kitkat/Runo - One Last Song by Sam Smith - Soulmate AU** _

Kitkat woke up to the sound of soft giggling and whispers, and immediately sat up, blinking the sleep from her eyes. Frowning in confusion at Noah's slightly triumphant look, she glanced down, and froze in horror at the sight of both her arms.

Each one was covered badly drawn dicks and miscellaneous scribbles, done in every shade of the rainbow and then some. She clapped her hands to her face, hoping it hadn't been drawn on, and burned red at the sound of Noah's laughter being joined by someone else.

Looking behind her into the kitchen, she spotted a snickering Judas leaning against the fridge with a mug. "Don't worry," they assured. "I convinced Noah that drawing on your face was a bad idea."

"We only did your arms, too!" called Quin, exiting the hallway. "Just wear long-sleeves."

Staring down at her inked arms, Kitkat paused for a moment, eyebrows knitting together in thought. "Are these... Sharpie?" she asked hesitantly.

Her question prompted another round of laughter from Noah and Judas, while Quin just snickered softly and tried to look a bit apologetic, failing utterly. Groaning in dismay, the victim flopped down back on the couch dramatically.

Suddenly, a thought crossed her mind, and she sat up in horror. "Oh, fuck! Runo! Holy shit, I hope she's wearing long-sleeves, I gotta tell—" Her phone chimed with a text message, and the light haired girl lunged for it, unlocking her screen and swiping to messages.

_hey are these permanent marker or can you wash them off_

Kitkat winced, quickly typing out her own message.

_Sorry it seems the dumbass trio used sharpie so I can't get it off,, do you have any longsleeves??_

Hearing light snickering, she whipped her head around and pouted at her friends, sniffing in disdain before turning back to her phone. 

_yeah i do_

And a couple seconds later:

_hey check your hands_

Kitkat did as Runo said, checking her palms and watching the words _'i love you'_ get scrawled on her left, and got up to search for a marker, shakily writing _'I love you too'_ on her right palm.

"Awwww, that's so cute!"

"Shut up, Judas!"


	9. looking for the time of your life (and no one's gonna find out)

_ **9\. Judas/Gerard - Miss Jackson (feat. LOLO) by Panic! at the Disco - Demon AU** _

"Darling, you're gonna need to stop."

Freezing in place at the sound of their boyfriend's voice, Judas flinched and whirled around, the smoky raven they were commiserating with dispersing into nothingness. They rubbed the back of their head sheepishly. "Elaborate?" they suggested. 

Crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway, Gerard pursed his lips. "You're gonna need to stop summoning your minions in the house," he explained, scowling slightly.

Wilting physically in response, Judas hunched over and sighed mournfully. "I... Okay, babe..."

Sensing their distress, he backtracked, hastily tacking on, "It isn't because I don't like them or you! Just, I was handling dishes while you were summoning today, and the momentary loss of gravity ended up with a glass being dropped... They can still come in, just please don't summon them in the house..."

Immediately brightening up, they hopped up and wrapped their arms around him, peppering his face with kisses in between words. "Of course, babe, of course I'll do that! Oh, thank the ninth circle of hell, I thought you were actually just gonna ban all demonic activity from the house!"

"I couldn't do that to you!" He laughed breathlessly, kissing them back for each kiss given. "I know you miss your old body."

Attitude immediately souring, they clung to his shoulders with a glare drilling holes into nothing. "Yeah, I really want my fucking body back! The fuck was Dave even thinking, expelling me like that! I'm literally just—just a human!"

"There's nothing wrong with humans," scolded Gerard lightly, patting their back. "And don't forget, if he hadn't done that, we wouldn't have met! Even if the first encounter was pretty brutal..."

Wincing at the memory of their foolish self attempting to feed off Gerard's soul, Judas huffed out a sigh, full on leaning against their boyfriend. "I just... It sucks, being stuck here, and having to go through the mortal ways of summoning. Even summoning the lowest of my demons is tedious!" 

Used to their antics, the human swept the demon up into his arms and made his way up the basement stairs. "Sounds like it's nap time, then?"

"Yeah... Sleep time."


	10. and if i listen i can hear you through my radio (in that bright white noise)

** _10\. Nine/Noah/Judas - You Make Me Feel... (feat. Sabi) by Cobra Starship - Comic Obsessed AU_ **

"T'Challa was a furry," said Judas just as Nine entered the living, not looking up from their phone. Noah observed the deep breath their boyfriend took and the scheming expression that appeared on his face, and silently wished Judas would shut the fuck up.

"Actually," retorted Nine, sounding smug as if he'd already won. "You'll find that the Black Panther suit is not T'Challa's, but rather his ancestor's, who had been the one to first design it and pass it down the family line. Just because T'Challa inherited a fursuit, doesn't mean he is a furry." He paused to take a sip from his tea. "Meanwhile, in Batman's case, he spent a significant amount of time designing his batsuit and often refers to himself as Batman in his head and, in some cases, openly declares himself to be Batman. So while the evidence does not denounce T'Challa as a furry, it very much so confirms that Batman is Bruce Wayne's fursona." 

Watching Judas put away their phone, the blue haired man leaned back into the couch, in anticipation for the fireworks.

Judas did not disappoint. "You know what, sunshine? SPIDER-MAN IS A FURRY!"

And like always, Nine reacted to fire with fire. "YOU BASTARD, TAKE THAT BACK!" 

"NEVER, FUCK YOU! AND FALCON'S A FURRY, TOO!"

There was a scream of incoherent rage. "CATWOMAN'S A FURRY! FUCK, EVERYONE IN THE BAT FAMILY IS A FURRY, AND YOU KNOW IT!"

"—GONNA FUCKING DESTROY YOU, VENOM'S A FUCKING FURRY—"

"—DARE YOU, HAWKGIRL COMES FROM FURRY PLANET—"

"—SHE DOES NOT, THAT CHIPMUNK GIRL'S A FURRY, TOO—"

"—SHE'S SQUIRREL GIRL, NOT CHIPMUNK, YOU UNEDUCATED HEATHEN—"

Sighing heavily, Noah cupped his hands around his mouth. "Now, now, both of you, calm down! Why can't we all agree that although Wolverine's best hero in DC, by far, he is also a furry, but not of his own accord." He sat back, triumphant smile on his lips, as both of his frozen datemates turned their indignant glares on him, then exchanged a series of looks between each other, turning back to him. He stiffened at the strange look in both of their eyes as they approached, settling down on either side of him.

"Hey, Nine?" said Judas over the head of blue hair, smirking back at their other boyfriend.

Grinning widely, Nine nodded in understanding, using a hand to tilt Noah's face towards him so he could press a hard kiss to his lips, as Judas dipped under and placed soft, fluttery kisses on Noah's collarbone. 

"We're gonna make you regret saying that, babe," they declared in unison, as Noah felt his face heat up.

_Ah, fuck. Now I've done it._


	11. i don't need the world to see (that i've been the best i can be)

** _11\. Quin/Runo/Kitkat - Francis Forever by Mitski - Jailed AU_ **

"Oooh, hell yes," said Runo, crouching down to scoop up some snow and pack it into a ball.

"If only Quin was here," sighed Kitkat, mimicking her girlfriend's actions. "Too bad she's busy with that paper."

Humming to herself, Runo turned on her heel and threw her arms around Kitkat, kissing her and shivering a bit at the press of her frozen nose against her cheek. Kitkat placed her hands on Runo's waist, yelping in indignation as the feeling of snow being shoved down the back of her shirt. Jumping away with a bout of laughter, Runo raced away deeper into the park, gathering up snow and packing them into balls.

"You're gonna regret that!" hollered Kitkat with a grin, stooping down to make snowballs. She chased after Runo, hurling snow at her laughing girlfriend's back, managing to get a hit right in the back of her head. Screeching at the coldness, she whirled around and threw her entire collection of snowballs in retaliation.

Continuing their impromptu snowball fight, the sound of police sirens filled the air, and they stopped, exchanging confused glances as the police car pulled to a stop in front of the park.

"What's this about?" asked Runo. Kitkat shrugged in turn, watching the pair of officers come up to them.

"No idea."

* * *

Quin stared determinedly at the road, not looking at either Kitkat or Runo, both sat in the front seat. They both looked properly chastised and ashamed, trying to catch their girlfriend's eyes in the rearview mirror.

Finally, after several minutes spent in silence, Quin let out a breath in a great _whoosh_. "What happened?" she asked calmly.

"We didn't know!" exclaimed Kitkat, Runo nodding along rapidly.

"We had absolutely no idea that throwing snowballs in Kansas was illegal."

There was silence after her statement, before all three of them broke down into laughter, maybe a bit hysterically but still mirthful.

"I can't believe that's an actual law!" laughed Quin. 

Kitkat snickered. "It does seem to be something pretty ridiculous to go to jail for."

Rolling her eyes, Runo stifled her own giggles. "Honestly, talk about a weird law."

Quin pulled into the driveway, turning the engine off and exiting the car, followed by Runo and then Kitkat. She grabbed their hands with her own, smiling brightly, leaning in for a kiss from Kitkat, then initiating one with Runo. She pulled back, smile wider than earlier.

"I love you two... despite your criminal record."


	12. i've never felt like this before (i apologize if i'm moving too far)

_ **12\. Kitkat/Quin/Noah - Talk (feat. Disclosure) by Khalid - Mafia AU** _

Yawning widely into her palm, Quin trudged down the hallway to the kitchen, having already dressed and showered for the day. She pushed the door open and stopped in her tracks, pinching the bridge of her nose and taking a breath to calm herself.

"Noah! Kitkat!" 

Aforementioned bodyguards came running several moments later, stopping behind her side by side with matching deceptively innocent expressions.

With an exasperated sigh, Quin gestured to the dead body on the kitchen floor. "Stop leaving corpses in my kitchen! It's unsanitary, and so tedious to clean all over again."

Noah stared back at her with an unrepentant face, knowing there was no use in denying their involvement. "He was an assassin! And he was already in the kitchen when we killed him!" he protested. 

"It was easier to just kill him on the spot," added Kitkat, looking a little smug in comparison to her fellow bodyguard.

Quin groaned, rubbing her temples. "Then why not, oh, I don't know, clean it up before I come into the kitchen later? Maybe not leave them lying around? I swear, you two are just like cats..." She stifled a snicker. 

Noah and Kitkat's expressions soured in unison. "We can't just..." Noah trailed off in frustration, trying to find the right words.

"We can't just clean it up!" finished Kitkat, looking just as frustrated.

"Why not?" asked Quin, bemused. "What is it, some sort of bizarre mafia courtship ritual?" she joked.

Instead of laughing as she presumed they would, the bodyguard pair suddenly looked decidedly shifty-eyed, turning their faces down to the ground in Kitkat's face, or flat out away from their boss in Noah's case.

"Oh..." whispered Quin in dawning realization. "I thought Nine was just fucking with me when he mentioned how he was courting Runo with dead bodies."

Noah shook his head, looking a bit hesitant. "He wasn't... It's sort of how an underling courts the boss. Killing their enemies, leaving them as gifts..."

She coughed into her fist, still wide eyed. "So... both of you were...?"

"Yeah," replied Kitkat sheepishly. "We were flirting with you the entire time through the elaborate guise of being messy killers?"

Quin felt her face heat up, and looked to the side. "Well... I guess I have about five months of courtship gifts to make up for, then."

With her bodyguards beaming at her hopefully, Quin felt herself smile happily back, knowing there's nowhere she'd rather be but right here.


	13. do you wanna cross the line (we're running out of time)

_ **13\. Gerard/Noah/Nine - Dangerous Night by Thirty Seconds to Mars - Angels & Demons AU** _

"Well, if it isn't Gerard!" 

The aforementioned angel nearly groaned in exasperation, reluctantly turning around to face the approaching demon. Normally, while seeing Nine's admittedly very nice face, never mind the unfortunate tragedy of it being attached to such an irritating demon, would have at least cheered him up, today was too frustrating for him that even seeing an unnecessarily pretty demon did not improve his mood.

"What do you want, Nine?" he asked tiredly, slowing down enough so the other could hover beside him. 

Tilting his head to the side, the shadow demon squinted at Gerard, looking a tad confused. "You're sounding pretty worn out, bastard. What kind of assignment are you even doing?"

"Don't get involved," warned Gerard in a threatening tone, before he nearly slapped himself. Telling Nine not to do something was paramount to ordering him to do it! 

Nine's grin widened until it split his face at the seams and he transformed into a mass of shadowy tentacles, slowly morphing back into his more humanoid form. Brendon cringed, avoiding the black dust produced by his transformation. 

"What kind of human's got you so irritated, hm, Gerard?"

"Maybe it's you who's making me so irritated, Nine. Ever think of that?"

He waved a hand dismissively. "Please, you were already annoyed by the time I got here. So? Who's the human?"

He huffed, descending slowly and dropping down on a streetlight, pointing down at a head of blue hair with a tired look. "It's that motherfucker."

Nine somersaulted through the air, eyes trained on the human as they crossed the street, head cocked to the side. "Who're they?"

Gerard's expression soured. "That's Noah. Apparently I'm supposed to be guiding him on the 'right path', but he's just really fucking tiresome! I literally had to save him from getting hit by a bus, and you know what he said? He was just like, 'How dare you interfere with my path to the afterlife' and I yelled at him that there'd only be hell for him if he dies right just then, and he just shrugged and _walked away!_ I don't care how attractive you might be, I'M NOT SAVING YOU IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SAVED!" After his impromptu rant, Gerard breathed heavily, glaring daggers at Noah's back. 

Nine snickered to himself, smirking down at the unknowing human below. "Oh? Then I better start corrupting him before you save him, otherwise you're gonna be stuck with an unhappy human up there!" He laughed, speeding after Noah.

"Oh, no you don't!" yelled Gerard, jumping off the streetlamp and racing after the demon. "You are _not_ getting to tap that before I do! _Nine_!"


	14. break it then you buy it (and it sure gonna cost you)

** _14\. Gerard/Noah - Love So Soft by Kelly Clarkson - Domestic AU_ **

"Babe. Babe. Babe, wake up."

Gerard muttered to himself, rolling over onto his stomach to smoosh his face into his pillow. Noah sighed, before grinning to himself. He slipped back under the blankets, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's middle and pressed a lazy kiss to the back of his neck.

Humming contently, Gerard rose his head a little, and at that very second, Noah stuck his very cold hands under his shirt and pressed them flat against Gerard's stomach. The black haired male yelped, tumbling out of bed as Noah laughed loudly above him, grinning down at him.

"Good morning, nerd," he said affectionately. "It's raining!"

* * *

"This good?" asked Noah, sitting back on his heels and surveying his work before him. Gerard squinted down at it.

"Will it hold up under the rain?" he asked, tapping the corner of the poster.

"For a while," amended Noah. "A few hours, probably."

"It'll do," Gerard declared. "Come on, let's get our coats." He kissed the blue haired man on the cheek and darted to the closet, yanking on rain boots and a raincoat. Getting up and doing the same, Noah picked up the sign and held it under an arm as Gerard took his other side, threading their fingers together. They headed out of their apartment and down into the street, walking to the curbside.

Once they reached the curbside, they stood side by side and held up the side, **"SPLASH US!!!" **emblazoned across the poster board in bright colors. They grinned at each other, and waited for cars to drive by.

The first few drove pass without hugging the curb, and Gerard groaned in disappointment. But the fourth one obliged, and a wave of water drenched the pair as they yelped, before laughing in joy.

By the time the sun had completely disappeared, they were both drenched and the board was a sopping mess. They held onto each other, shivering and laughing as they made their way back to their apartment, dumping the ruined poster into the trash.

"Bath?" asked Gerard, stripping off the raincoat and shucking off his boots.

"I thought you'd never ask," admitted Noah, tilting his head as Gerard kissed him softly.


	15. the sky is getting bright (the stars are burning out)

_**15\. Judas/Noah - Daylight by Maroon 5 - Shapeshifters AU** _

Noah strode down the street, earbuds firmly in and his hands in his pockets. He smoothly weaved through the crowds of people before the mass thinned as he moved further to the outskirts of the city. He passed by dumpster filled alleys, glancing into one, moving a step forward, before he stopped. He stepped back once, twice, and squinted into the dim light of the alley, at the dumpster.

There, hanging over the edge of the bin, was a booted foot, and he sighed, recognizing who it belonged to. He turned deeper into the alley, taking out an earbud, and peered down into the container through the open half.

There, passed out on the garbage bags, was Judas. He sighed again, and got a hand into the handhold of the remaining closed lid, and opened it up. The prone form of his—friend? acquaintance? nuisance?—current annoyance jolted awake, covering their face with their hands as the sunlight shone directly at it.

"Oh my gods, it burns! Why?!"

Jude smacked their forehead with his hand, looking down at them unamused. "This is the third dumpster I've found you in this month. What the hell, Judas?"

Groaning in dissatisfaction, Judas sat up and rubbed their face with their hands, taking their shades from their jacket and slipping them on. They turned to Noah with a raised eyebrow. "Maybe I like dumpsters, ever think of that?"

Noah looked back at them skeptically. "It smells like shit."

They sniffed their arm and made a face. "Um... Crow instincts?" they suggested.

"Don't blame this on your shifter instincts."

They sighed, climbing out of the dumpster and leaning towards the blue haired male with a sheepish look. "Then, I got nothing, I suppose." They immediately shrunk, shifting into a crow at Noah's feet and flying up to perch on his shoulder, nipping at his ear playfully.

Noah swatted lightly at them. "Stop shapeshifting to get out of situations!" he half complained, even as he remembered doing the exact same thing a multitude of times. He continued on his way to the abandoned building where their friends usually gathered, carefully scaling the building and slipping into his designated room. He shooed Judas out the door, ignoring their vaguely offended caw, and stripped out of his jacket and backpack, stretching and rolling his shoulders. He sighed, and shifted into a jackrabbit, scampering out of the room and down the staircase railing, Judas practically dive bombing him. He leapt at the crow, before Judas shifted back to human and caught him with a smug smile. He struggled minutely, giving up and shifting back to human and scowling in their face.

Smirking back, Judas released him quickly and stepped back. "My win! I totally got you."

"There wasn't even any contest!" argued Noah. "Invalid win."

"It was definitely a contest," they disagreed, flicking a feather off their shoulder. "It was mentally acknowledged."

Throwing up his hands, the jackrabbit shifter huffed in frustration. "What was the contest even about, then?"

"Doesn't matter!" claimed the crow shifter. "All that matters is I won, you lost, ha."

He glared at their triumphant face, hands twisted in his hair. "That's such a cop-out! There was no contest, you're just making shit up again."

"Ah ah ah!" They grinned at him. "It was a valid contest, and as the winner, I get a prize! Hmm..."

Noah groaned. "There is no prize!"

"Yes, there is!" they sing-songed, landing a hand on each of his shoulders. Their visage took a less joking expression. "I've decided... As the winner, my prize should be a kiss from the loser. Well?"

Noah looked away, aware of their proximity to each other, and sunk his canine into his lip. "It wasn't even a real contest... I don't think you should even get a prize as a fake winner."

Judas stepped even closer, bringing a hand to slip behind his head and turn his face towards theirs with a vaguely hopeful look. "Please, Noah?" They dropped their other hand from his shoulder and scratched the side of their head with embarrassment. "It's... not a joke, if you get what I mean."

He looked at them, taking in the truthfulness of their tone and the genuine hope on their face, and quickly pressed his lips to theirs after a moment of deliberation. "I get what you mean," he replied, looking into their surprised eyes.

Judas stared back at him, before they broke out into an excited grin and hugged him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Hell yeah!"

Noah laughed, patting the top of their head and kissing their forehead, looking both fond and exasperated.

"Maybe," he murmured, "I could get used to this."


End file.
